I had a nearly idyllic pregnancy and delivery; for that I am extremely grateful. Things went so well that I was commuting to work by train all the way up to the week before I gave birth.

What happened after “the push” and delivery of my son was not so idyllic. I was not prepared for the fourth trimester, and the physical and emotional challenges I would face. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I suffered from a degree of postpartum depression. For weeks after my son was born I was incredibly emotional and cried constantly. I vividly remember one night at 4am, after being up for hours, telling my husband that this had all been a mistake. 

My son is now approaching his second birthday and I adore him more than anything. I adore the way he says “mama”, the way he asks me to carry all 30 lbs of him until my arms give out, and then wakes me up at 2am by driving cars on my face. His entrance into my world has pushed me to slow down and connect with my new identity. He has pushed me to see that everyone’s experience and approach to birth and raising their child is unique. There is no right answer and the only thing that is “right” is what works for you and your family, and the support network you surround yourself with. 

As we explore expanding our family once again I am grateful to be more educated about the resources and support networks available to help mothers during their “push”. 

- April Atherton @aprilmayatherton

*If you need support through the postpartum blues we love The Motherhood Center for their day programs, support groups and individual therapy for new moms. Currently they’re even offering virtual options. Call them at 212-335-0034 to schedule a telemental health visit today. 

Do you want to be included in next month’s edition of The Push? Send us your thoughts on what “the push” means to you in 300 words or less. Each month we’ll choose our favorite to spotlight.