Founder’s Note 06

I’m used to hurrying through the streets of NYC and though I might not always notice my surroundings, I always notice a pregnant person when they cross my path. 

On the subway, I love to watch strangers scramble to give up their seats when they notice someone with a “bump.” Yes, even in New York.

But, this month, in particular, I’ve missed the growing bellies of my closest girlfriends whom I haven’t seen more than once or twice since the beginning of quarantine. The cheer and fanfare of baby showers on ZOOM is the closest we can safely be during the pandemic, but it’s just not the same.

I asked one of my girlfriends: how does it feel to have had the majority of your pregnancy in quarantine unable  to see family or friends? She said “I hadn’t even thought about it until one of my aunts asked me how much wine I’ve been drinking to stay sane during quarantine. When I responded ‘I wish!’ she apologized and said, “I keep forgetting that you are pregnant!””

 Her comment made me cringe with sadness.

We have been wired to forget about the birthing person once their belly starts to stretch and grow. We see the bump first and forget about the human being behind the body. We might have a million questions about all things baby, but forget to ask the person how they are feeling.

Let me be lovingly clear. To all the beautiful, powerful, life carrying birthing people reading this: you are not forgotten.

To all the hopeful mamas who are deeply saddened to see bumps floating around them but struggling on their own journey to pregnancy: you are not forgotten.

To our LGBTQ birthing and non-binary people who seek fair care in a system that was never built for their support and care: you are not forgotten.

To our sister, Sha-Asia Washington who tragically died during child birth at Woodhull Hospital in Brooklyn, NY from being egregiously ignored for hours on end, while complaining of surmounting pain and if someone - anyone - had the humanity to see beyond your beautiful Black skin to save your life: you are not forgotten.

To the womxn who have experienced loss and grief in the same ways that our feature contributor, Justine, has experienced on her journey to motherhood: you are not forgotten.

In all the ways that we want to show our love, excitement and celebration of new life, let us never forget about the human who is carrying the next generation and the life force that is making it all possible.

With Love,

Simmone