How Going Through IVF Changed Me For the Better

Guest Post By: Alissa KRG, Creative Director, Poppy Seed Health

A sweet moment between Alissa and her husband, Ryan.

It sounds kind of weird, right? To be shot up with needles for months on end, and see fertility docs more than I see most of my friends but be better for it? Here's the thing—before IVF, I didn't trust my ability to ~handle things~ all that much. I have this really helpful super power to jump to the worst case scenario in certain situations (slow claps for therapy!). So if someone told me in advance I'd have a balloon blown up my cervix, would lose feeling in my left butt cheek for months because my husband accidentally struck a nerve with a needle one night (it's ok, Ry), or that I'd go through the entire egg retrieval process only to have to start all over with another retrieval, I'd say something like, NOPE, KINDLY UNSUBSCRIBE.

But here's what's cool about being a human—we can handle so much more than we think we can. Being in the thick of something, and rising to it, is so vastly different than how you ~envision~ yourself handling it. Through IVF, I learned about my power and tapped into a resilience I didn't know I had. I've never gone after something with so much conviction in my life and through that, I found out what it means to fail over and over and over again—and then make the choice to get back up. 

I'm now 7 and a half months pregnant with our first baby, who we got to watch get implanted into my uterus through a big screen at the fertility doctor. (Science and technology, you are my QUEENS, keep being you). And as emotional and unprocessable as that all is, I am very aware that not all situations, for me and for others, get to be wrapped in a pretty bow with a pretty conclusion.

But what I do know now more than ever, is this: whether we can feel our own ass cheeks or not, there’s a lesson and growth in every single situation, as long as we figure out which lens to look through.