Spotlight: Carolyn Spiro-Levitt
Carolyn came to Poppy Seed during a healthy pregnancy. At her 20 week scan, however, she learned she had what is known as an ‘incompetent cervix.’ Her Poppy tribe supported her as best they could through a tumultuous few weeks, which, unfortunately ended in the loss of her pregnancy and child.
In hopes of shining a light on loss, and what caused hers in particular, Carolyn recently published a piece in the Washington Post about her story. Poppy Seed Health caught up with Carolyn to talk about that piece, and how her journey has evolved since it was published.
Tell us what motivated you to write this piece, and how the process impacted your healing?
My husband Josh and I were motivated to share our story because we wanted to do everything in our power to prevent what happened to us from happening to any other family. Losing Eli has been the worst and most painful thing we have ever experienced, and knowing that Eli’s death might have been prevented if my Incompetent Cervix (IC) was caught earlier is incredibly devastating. I wish more than anything that I knew about IC and knew the signs and symptoms to look out for, and what to advocate for in terms of testing and ultrasounds. Sharing our story has been a huge part of my healing so far. I feel very grateful that many women have reached out to me to share their own stories of loss, and to let me know that my story made them feel less alone, as pregnancy and infant loss is so incredibly isolating. In turn, it made me feel less alone to hear from each of them as well, and to connect with such strong, resilient women.
How was it for you having the support of Poppy Seed Health?
Poppy Seed Health has been an amazing support to me throughout this awful journey. My Poppy Seed Tribe was so kind, compassionate, and present with me. They also connected me with another IC mama, Jill, who has been a huge source of strength for me. Hearing the story of her tragic loss--followed by her journey of incredible perseverance to have her rainbow baby--has certainly given me a lot of hope. Connecting with other women in similar circumstances has been the most healing part of my own journey through grief, and Poppy Seed has been there for me each step of the way--in real time.
After your experience, what advice would you give to other mamas as they go through their journey?
If I could give other expecting moms one piece of advice, it would be to trust their intuition and to advocate, advocate, advocate for themselves. Being pregnant is an amazing experience, but it is also one that puts women in a very vulnerable state. I frequently felt rushed through appointments and was worried about being a "bother" to my doctors, so I didn't always get the chance to ask every question I had. That is something I struggle with--wondering if I had advocated more, or earlier, if Eli would still be here with us. When the doctors told me my symptoms were “typical” in pregnancy, I didn’t push for further answers. We all want to trust our doctors who are the “experts” to do all the right things, and look out for any dangers that may come up. But, ultimately, women know their own bodies best. So if something doesn’t feel right, please don’t hesitate to ask questions or advocate to get diagnostic tests to give you the reassurance you need.